I Have Two Daddies
by Ryuko-chan
Summary: A strange and frightening exploration of what would happen if Ranma got pregnant. I'm proud to say, one of my first fics ever.


Warning: this fic is really stupid! It has no character development, and, sad to say, is not a lemon. I worked hard to make it not a lemon, but if you look really, really close, you can find the allusion to some yaoi. Maybe not that close. In any case, I will kill all who try to steal this fic with my bare hands. Yes, bare hands. Maybe a pointed stick in unmentionable places. Yeah, that's a good idea. (dreamy look on face)  
  
I have two daddies..I think.  
  
"Pigtailed girl, I love you! Come back to me!" Kuno shouted. Ranma sighed imperceptibly, as he ran, so swiftly you could hardly see him. His hair was a flashing blur of red, though his hair was actually black. He bounced in illogical places. He shook his head.  
  
"I really hate that part." He conceded. He had been running for quite a few hours. Kuno's blind love seemed to give him new legs or something, because, karate master that he was, Ranma was getting tired out. He paused in his gait, slowing down. Kuno fair leapt for joy.  
  
"Pigtailed girl, you have finally let my love shine in! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and thee, thee are the sun!" he shouted. Ranma rolled his eyes. He was getting desperate, after all, no one had yet thrown water on him, so as yet he was still a girl. He decided to do something drastic.  
  
"Look, Kuno. If I get in bed with you, and so on and so forth, would you promise to leave me alone for the rest of my life?" as a girl, he added mentally. Kuno's eyes shone.  
  
"You, you would." He was nearly crying, "Oh, pigtailed girl, I love you!" He seemed not to have heard the last part, "COME!" he shouted.  
  
Two months later  
  
Ranma's father, Genma Saotome, was seated at the table, reading the paper, as he usually was. Akane's father grumbled.  
  
"You're getting hair in my rice!" he shouted at the panda, a.k.a. Genma. Ranma walked in and sat down. Soun Tendo, looked at him.  
  
"You're getting entirely too comfortable in that girl form!" Soun shouted. Happosai walked in with a teapot and poured it on him.  
  
"There you go, sonny!" he shouted. The water cleared a very soaked, very warm, very female Ranma. Akane walked in.  
  
"What's wrong now?" She asked.  
  
"I-I'm a girl!" Ranma shouted.  
  
"Soooo?" Akane asked. Ranma looked angry.  
  
"Haven't you noticed? I've been a girl for two months now! And that was warm water!" Akane made a face.  
  
"You mean you haven't showered in two months?" She asked. Ranma frowned.  
  
"No, I just. I usually take cold showers, OK?" he said. Akane looked at him, then she got it. She smiled cruelly, and left. Ranma grabbed a box of twinkies. He sat at the table, dipping the twinkies into a jar of peanut butter. Soun made a face.  
  
One month later  
  
Genma sat at the table, this time a human man. He looked over at his, ahem, son, and frowned.  
  
"You need to lose weight." He said. Ranma looked at him hurtfully.  
  
"I'm getting fat?" he said tearfully. His father was confused.  
  
"Um, yeah." He said. Ranma snarled.  
  
"FAT!! I'm not fat, you baka, you stupid panda!" He said, panting with rage. Genma went elsewhere to read.  
  
One month later  
  
Akane stood by the door of the bathroom, looking at her watch. Her head was in a turban and she was wearing a towel.  
  
"Are you almost done in there?" she asked. The toilet flushed, "Jeez, Ranma, you have been in the bathroom so much lately!"  
  
Eight years later  
  
"So that's how I was born?" Little Ranma asked, looking straight at him with her green eyes. Ranma nodded, tousling her mop of red hair.  
  
"And then mommy Akane adopted you." He said. The little girl nodded.  
  
"Oh. OK! Bye daddy!" she said. Just then, Nibiki came in the room with a cup of iced tea. Little Ranma ran straight into her and the iced tea fell out of Nibiki's hands and right on little Ranma.  
  
"Not again!" Ranma sighed. Nibiki looked down at little Ranma.  
  
"S'cold!" He said, rubbing his coarse black locks. Akane walked in.  
  
"Oh, he's a boy again?" she asked. Ranma nodded. Akane sighed.  
  
"When will we ever really learn?" She asked rhetorically. Ranma shrugged. Just then, Kuno walked in the door.  
  
"Hello Ranma, stealer of my dear Akane, I just came to see your lovely red haired child again. Where is she?" 


End file.
